Twain Fantasy

Devotees will recall that last season in fantasy baseball, I was locked in heated battle with my own kin in "The Bunkbed Series".  Since I never offered any follow-up, it would be safe to assume, and you would be correct, that I ended up on the "bottom bunk" in that series.  This season I was lucky enough to make it back to the championship matchup, now pitted against my older, more cunning brother, team name: Montecore.

The battle was definitely going my way throughout most of the 2-week period, and the Gordon Gekkos had accumulated a sizeable margin in most of the batting categories.  But Monte rarely goes down easy (I mean, his namesake actually attacked his own master, the peaceable Roy Horn of Siegfried & Roy).  I had a 13-9-0 lead at the end of the 2-week period and was just waiting for the obligatory call of congratulations from my opponent.  But then the dumb league decided to count the stats of the 1-game, postseason playoff between the Twins and Tigers.  Ever monitoring, and quick to enact his strategy, Montecore proceeded to pick up all the Twins/Tigers players he could and put them in his lineup in a last-ditch effort.  He would need 9 hits and 2 walks to tie, and an additional 2 stolen bases to win.    

The time for the 1-game playoff arrived and I raptly followed on the web, on my phone, and on TV.  Would M. Tolbert rope a single to left? would N. Punto draw a walk? would they both try for a double steal? would A. Everett come off the bench for a bunt single?  Who knew that these AL Central no-namers could cause so much stress?  For those who watched, the game went into extra innings and the fantasy implications from all the different combinations and game-ending scenarios became too much to bear, and I had to turn it off when family dinner just couldn't be postponed any longer.  But I kept that laptop nearby, and a strange thing happened--that little "0" in the third column of the Win-Loss-Tie scorechart, quietly transformed into a "1" by stealing a digit from my loss column.  In the top of the 12th with the bases loaded and 2 outs, Gerald Laird was the Tigers' last hope and the Tiger's demise.  He struck out swinging against Bobby Keppel, thus erasing my loss in the strikeout category, and propelling the Gordon Gekkos to an 11-10-1 victory over Montecore.           

Detroit Tigers catcher Gerald Laird reacts after tagging out Minnesota Twins' Alexi Casilla (25) during the 10th inning of a baseball game Tuesday, Oct. 6, 2009, in Minneapolis, during a tiebreaker to decide the American League Central title.  He got the job done behind the plate, but not beside it.

And if that victory wasn't enough, I also won the 14-team office league.  It's all about markin' twain.  

Fist Pump

On Wednesday night, Derek Jeter went 3-4 at home against the Devil Rays and in so doing, tied Lou Gehrig's record for the most hits as a Yankee. This has led sports columnists and TV commentators to reflect on his career and gush about what a stellar athlete and stand-up personality he has been.

I would like to use this blog post to remind everyone that Derek Jeter is actually a big dork. I think all these sports people are overestimating Jeter now that the Yankees are no longer the loathed empire of MLB dominance. The Yanks have been choking since 2001 and now everyone feels sympathy for them.

I even have a friend who's an Orioles fan who by all rights should be a Yankee hater but confessed to me that he one day came to a realization that Jeter is "awesome." Dear friend, do not be blinded by the Yankee mystique. Here is some solid proof that Jeter is a dork and not awesome.

• If they kept stats of consecutive games with the same hairstyle, he would be the new Ironman
• He makes a living off of opposite-field hits and the short Yankee porch
• He sticks his butt out too much when he's up to bat and he always leans over the pitch when he watches it for a ball
  
• A 2008 study by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that, from 2002 through 2005, Jeter was the worst defensive shortstop in the Major Leagues
• The fist pump
• Doper - His homerun total went from 10 in 2003 to 23 in 2004
  

Summer Toonz

I recently set a new personal record by attending 3 concerts in 8 days. That's an average of 0.375 concerts/day. Was it a good idea? Yes. Let me explain.

6/6/09 - David Byrne (Everything That Happens Will Happen Today)

Mr. Byrne dressed up in his pearly whites for this one and had some nice assistance from his interpretive dancers. He, himself, even got in on the dancing every now and then. The songs from his new album are all quite nice. Nothing mindblowingly good but it a nice melding of Byrne pop and Eno ambient sounds--exactly what you would expect and hope for from a Byrne/Eno collaboration. The eye-opening thing about this concert for me was when he played a lot of the old classics from the Talking Heads days (which apparently also had a lot of Eno influence) and I could see that 'I Zimbra' signature sound come to life. The organ playing on a hurried, irregular beat, the double percussion going nonstop, and the high-treble guitar keeping to the rhythm, and some weird sound effects for good measure. I could really appreciate the research Byrne and the 'Heads had done to create that sound and once I caught it, I felt like I could groove to it for hours. He also played a few get up and dance songs like 'Burning Down the House' and 'Once in a Lifetime'.

6/11/09 - Elvis Costello and the Sugarcanes (Secret, Profane, and Sugarcane)

I didn't really get into Costello until about 3 or 4 years ago which I realize was entirely too late but I can't really be blamed for that now can I? I started with 'My Aim Is True' and then progressed to 'This Year's Model' and then skipped ahead to 'Accidents Will Happen' and then pulled back a bit to 'Blood And Chocolate'. And then this new album, 'Secret, Profane, and Sugarcane', just came out this month and he happened to be touring at Wolftrap, which is a fantastic outdoor venue here in the DC area, so I just had to go. I would call this show, "enjoyable". Nothing too incredible, or even with a very high degree of difficulty, but it played into the outdoor nature ambiance quite nicely. This album is a shift from the Costello norm as he's teamed up with a bluegrass band to record some Nashville hits. It works as an alternative project but it's not the best use of his talent as some of the angst and rebellion in his strainy voice are best accompanied by percussion and jagged electric guitar riffs. One song I especially enjoyed was 'I Felt the Chill', which he recorded with Loretta Lynn.

6/13/09 - Duke Ellington Jazz Festival

This was a free event held on the D.C. mall next to the Washington Monument. They had about 10 jazz bands, mostly from New Orleans, doing one-hour sets over the course of 2 days. We went to the Saturday evening portion and set up a blanket and picnic. It was fun for the relaxation and the eating and the freeness, but the music was only on and off. Off when the band we heard was playing free-form, cerebral stuff with overdubbed reverend lyrics; all part of their latest concept album. We were just looking for something to bob our heads and snap our fingers to. Fortunately, they closed the set with some more traditional songs, and at long last, fingers were snapped, and heads were bobbed.

And in the non-live music arena, I recently picked up the latest release from Sonic Youth, 'The Eternal'. I heard Greg Kot (Chicago Tribune) describe their sound as urban surf music, like a car ride that you get on and have no idea where it's heading. This album really rocks and has some popping guitar riffs throughout. I might still like their previous album, 'Rather Ripped' a little more but most critics seem to agree that this latest is their best in a long time. Definitely worth checking out.

PREAKNESS!!

Rachel Alexandra (#13) becomes the first filly in 85 years to win the Preakness Stakes, edging Kentucky Dirby winner Mine That Bird by one length.

We spent this last weekend at the Preakness Stakes in Baltimore. The drama surrounding Rachel Alexandra (the filly female going up against all the colts) made for an exciting sporting event. It's too bad we don't gamble because we were going to put $1 million on Rachel but our conscience got the better of us.

I was quite surprised to find that the horseracing crowd is not so elite and distinguished as it once was. We were misled to believe that the madams had to wear a dress and fancy hat, and the gentlemen a coat and tie. Needless to say, I felt a little too formal (and a little too hot) mixing it up with the "running of the urinal crowd" and rocking out to ZZ Top. But in the end the excitement capitulated when the main event was starting, and the race itself turned out to be quite a thrill. Next year I'm wearing a tank top.

Overdressed

Appropriately dressed

Spain & Spore

The Mrs. and I recently returned from a tricontinental adventure whose official itinerary looked something like this: DC, Phoenix, DC, Heathrow, Gatwick, Malaga, Gatwick, Heathrow, Singapore, Frankfurt, Chicago, DC. Fortunately, many of those plane rides were spent sprawled out across 3, sometimes 5, seats, and one leg in first class, and two legs aboard Singapore Air where you can watch dozens of current on-demand movies and enjoy several other travel perks, like a cup holder that is attached to the bottom of the pull-down tray so you don't need to pull down the whole tray to access it.

We arrived in Spain on Monday after the wedding in Arizona. Our home base was in Benalmadena (near Malaga) and from there we would venture out to the nearby cities and destinations in our bright orange Kia Picanto rental car. We spent one day in Malaga, one day in Granada, one day in Tarifa, and two days in Sevilla.

The Alhambra in Granada was quite spectacular. It was a Moorish castle conquered by the Spaniards in 1492 and retooled as a Catholic site. The Moores were very anti-ostentatious and designed their palaces such that the outside was an unimpressive block with four plain walls, but the inside was ornate and incredibly colorful and detailed. It would have been nice to see the Alhambra in its heyday. After a long day of walking, we went into the nearby town (Albaicin) and patronized the Arab baths.

Tarifa itself was not a very fun town (a little too dingy and stale for my taste) but driving up and down the coast, and traversing the shoreline were a real treat.

Sevilla was quite a romantic city, and it felt much more bustling and classic European than the other Andalucian cities we visited. We stayed in a really cool hotel with a rooftop terrace right next to the bell tower of La Giralda. It was nice walking the bridge at night, despite the dopers and the drunks that were out in plain sight. We also caught some Flamenco dancing while we were in town. When the male dancer came out in his fancy get-up I predicted, correctly, that his coat wouldn't last more than ten minutes. I was pleased with prophetic satisfaction when he slung it off dramatically in the middle of his routine, but I was displeased when I heard Val B. perk up in admiration of his nice chest and seductive maneuvers. I quickly reassured her that I could do that if I wanted to.

After Spain, we made our way towards Singapore. We were there for about 6 days and much of our time was spent either making preparations for the wedding banquet, taking wedding pictures, or actually banqueting. Fortunately, we were able to do a lot of fun things in between all of that and once it was all over. We went out for delicious food it seemed at least twice a day. I ate lots of spicy noodle dishes, sea food, tropical fruits, rice, frog porridge, curries, you name it. The weather was constantly warm and humid but the abundance of bright-colored flora and foliage made it worth it. The modernization and orderliness of the city were quite impressive. I say orderly, but then again, there were monkeys rummaging the streets. I mean, how orderly can that be?

Mr. and Mrs. Twainfecta - the view of Malaga from the Alcazaba (pronounced: Alcathaba)

The Alhambra in Granada. Surprisingly, the water looks cleaner through the camera than it did in real life.

Mediterranean coast in Tarifa. So close to Africa, yet so far away (80 euros/person)

The Cathedral of Seville and La Giralda

Cool trees in Singapore; these are behind Casuarina Curry--a favorite eating spot for breakfast.