Twainfecta's Log: Part III (Berlin and Back Again)

Before arriving in Berlin we had a brief tour of the former bombed out city of Dresden. I should mention that two important events transpired on the bus ride from Prague to Dresden. 1) We pulled into a gas station in the back where the big rigs go and saw a German trucker going cowboy style in the parking lot. We parked in the spot behind him and had a good laugh. But then, as if straight out of a National Lampoon's movie, another bus packed with Chinese tourists drove in and took the parking spot in front of the trucker. I could tell they had an even bigger laugh than we did. 2) I broke out of a Tetris funk once we crossed the Germany border and set a new record for consecutive times beating Level 9 High 5. In Dresden I picked up the indispensable German phrase, svi veiner bitte (literally, "two hotdogs please" but understood in the local tongue at the braut stands as "the really long hotdog folded in half and placed inside a french roll"). It was cool to see the buildings in Dresden how they had just used recycled limestone left over from the bombings in their rebuilding process.

Berlin - Here we finally got set up in a proper hotel, complete with bidet and sauna. It also had a flat-screen TV ideal for watching MTV Germany's top 20 including a Tommy Reeve video who everyone kept saying looks like a sexier version of me. Walking around Unter den Linden street was pretty nice. It leads to the university square where the Nazis burned the thousands of books, and to the Berlin Schloss castle along the River Spree, and eventually to the famous TV tower and Alexanderplatz. The shopping was meant to be like Rodeo Dr. or something but I wasn't all that impressed. I guess the fact that the dollar is sucking it up these days made it hard for me to make good overseas purchases (the only souvenirs I ended up hauling back were a Manchester United hat, an extended shoe horn at the All-A-Euro store, and a free pen from the hotel). We also took a tour of Potsdam and saw Frederick the Great's summer Sans Souci palace, as well as the Cecilienhof where Stalin, Churchill, and Truman met to decide the fate of post-war Germany. Touring the Berlin Wall was cooler than I expected. The countless murals spread out all over the wall are surprisingly decorative for such a somber, morose site.

The flights back were a drag, as they always are--a missed connection in JFK and a 3-hour delay on the runway. But it's good to be back. "We are American, because you're in America, okay. Greatest country on the planet."

Miscellaneous Highlights:

• We lose sight of Desi in his forest-green outfit

• Exact Change: The Berlin Miracle(s) - When it came time to shed our Euros I went into a market with all my remaining change (E3.77) and picked up 2 bags of Gold Fischli, a Cherry Coke, and some Yoghurt Fruchtbonbons. When I got to the cashier she said E3.77. Later, at the airport, we all chipped in with our bills and coins and bought a communal Burger King order. We each put in our order and took our E10.56 to the counter. The total came out to...E10.56.

Favorite Albums of the Trip:

• Sonic Youth Rather Ripped
• Liars Drum's Not Dead
• Bob Dylan The Times They Are A Changin'
• Arctic Monkeys Favourite Worst Nightmare
• Elvis Costello My Aim Is True

Twainfecta's Log: Part II (Salzburg - Prague)

Salzburg – If you’re a ‘Sound of Music’ fan at all, this is the place for you. Here we cruised the lush gardens and sparkling fountains of the Schloss Mirabell, and strolled through the very cemetery where the Von Traps made their quick escape. Lah Dee Dah. In all actuality, though, Salzburg was very cool, and not just for the thespian types. We got to see the birthplace of Mozart and one of his houses, though apparently he despised Salzburg, feeling that the residents didn’t appreciate him and that the town couldn’t even provide a decent opera house, so he took the first train to Vienna, so to speak. Strolling the banks of the Salzbach River and taking the scenic €2 elevator ride by way of the 5-story parking garage (even though I could have ridden it for free since I snuck past the gate with a pack of Chinese tourists but then let my conscience get the better of me) gave me a good sense of the picturesque layout of the city and its impressive baroque architecture.

Cesky Krumlov – A brief stopover en route to Prague, the Cesky offered mediocre seafood, speedo-donning Czechs in river rafts, an overabundance of specialty souvenir shops, and “trash ice” (their translation of shaved ice). But for all its inconveniences, C.K. was quaint beyond belief (rivaling Intercourse, PA), and the cool weather, the flowing river, and the surrounding castles and cottages just took you instantly back in time…and you didn’t want to leave. After trekking up the steep trail to catch a superb view of the city, Crato decided he didn’t feel like walking back down so he offered Des 20 krohn to piggy back him all the way down (fooling Des with the 20:1 USD exchange rate). Interestingly enough, Crato was the one who sustained injuries in the treacherous ride.

Prague – This had to be my favorite city of the whole trip. The St. Vitus Cathedral had an incredibly ornate exterior and an even more detailed interior with stained glass windows made out of 20-some-odd thousand pieces of glass. The walk down Charles Bridge was “a walk to remember” with its countless catholic statues and adornments. This was one of those places where I could just lean up against a wall with the right book and relax for hours. The astronomical clock in the city square added a nice touch and the looming threat of being pick-pocketed by the Gypsies at any given moment made it all the more exciting [I tried to reach for Sue’s purse here posing as a Gypsy but she wouldn’t have any of it. I quickly regretted trying]. One of the nights we dined at a nice restaurant with a view of the city, and a nice piano and keyboard. Our waiter, a young Czech fellow, started doodling around on the little Casio keyboard (I think I recognized the sound loop as Samba 27). He was just one-fingering it and trying to jam out. No one wanted to look at him, thinking it might cause embarrassment or something, but Des and I peeked over and when we made eye contact he did one of those neck-shrug and grin things. Other than that he was a total pro. Once the regular pianist came in and finished his set, my mom took the reins and Dvoraked all over his face with Symphony #9 (From the New World). Though he did come back and counter with the Loveboat Theme.

Miscellaneous Highlights:

• Getting really close to buying male capris

• Remote Control PPV mishaps by not one, but two of my brothers


• Saw Mozart's 'Don Giovanni' at the Prague Estates Theatre


• Toured the old Prague Jewish Quarter (pre-WWII population: 120,000, post: 20,000)


• Crato fits his head through the other side of a castle wall

Twainfecta's Log: Part I (Munich - Linderhof)

Now that I’m back from Europe and no longer disoriented by European time zones, I can get back to my favorite pre-Europe activity: blogging it up.

Countries: Germany, Austria, Czech Republic
Dates: July 17 – July 28, 2007
Members: 7 Barkers + Sue, Miguel & Josefina, Derek (guide), Alex (driver)

Munich - There's one glaring memory from our 2 days stay here and that is Courteney fainting in the town square in Marienplatz. Luckily she was able to break her fall with her forehead right on the cement sidewalk. One of the most painful things I've ever witnessed. Fortunately, she ended up OK and may even have some recollection of the rest of the trip. We also saw BMW headquarters and the Olympic Stadium.

Went on a lovely drive up the Bavarian Alps where we stopped in Oberamergau and had possibly the worst meal of my life. 4 courses. Started with Vegetable soup (predominantly spinach I think), then vinegar-cured vegetables, then some sort of roasted lamb that was so salty it reminded me of the times I mistook the salt for the sugar when piling it on my cereal. This is where Crato learned the "No thank you. Thank you." phrase with the accompanying hand gestures. It would come in handy throughout the rest of the trip. We also spotted a fly in one of the drinks so the waitress took it in the back room, spooned out the fly, and then returned the glass. My dad assured us this is not the typical German dining experience.

From Oberamergau we continued on to the Linderhof Castle, the hideaway summer palace of Mad King Ludwig. Here we got to walk through the floral tunnels (a la Secret Garden movie), and cool down in Ludwig's domesticated cave where he chilled in his little pond boat and listened to Wagner symphonies.